i was my own dog's bitch

this was unearthed from a few years back:

Something has gone terribly wrong. I am no longer the alpha female in my household. I'm not sure when it happened, but a shift in power has occurred.

When I found Guinness and decided to keep her, she was a shy, undernourished, tremulous creature. That has changed. Now my schedule revolves around her feedings, walkings and demands for attention.

It used to be she loved any food that appeared in her dish. Now she's picky and prefers cat food. Maybe it tastes like cats. She shows remarkable lack of discretion when she nears anything remotely edible on the sidewalk, however. But I get her the best dog food available from the pet store, and I even cook for her!

Work and time away from home to socialize have become logistical nightmares. Who will walk her? Feed her? Hang out with her? I now have a team of experts, a wonderful dogsitter plus neighborly dog owners who understand.

Her Shepherd side emerged when she decided to herd the cats. But soon this wasn't enough and she began bullying them.

She does yard work. She hates bulbs--digs them out to toss them aside. Who knew? She digs dog-sized holes in the garden to sit in them. Location is everything to her. She has several sitting holes distributed throughout reflecting her many moods, dicentra and hostas be damned.

One day, she turned her attentions to me. Apparently I don't leap from bed early enough to feed her. She's tall enough to reach my pillows, which she snatches from underneath my head to wake me up at 5:30 am. If that doesn't work, she'll bang on the door, then as a last resort she knocks over a cat litter box.

The day I realized that she was in charge was when I described to my vet that when I wanted to adopt another dog (to keep her company), Guinness shockingly and uncharacteristically attacked the dog when I brought her home. Luckily I was able to separate the dogs before either was seriously hurt. The vet bemusedly said, "So Guinness is in charge, huh?"

Still, she is the most adorable creature! Crazy, huh? Dogs have a way of burrowing into your heart. She is the goofiest loveliest being. Yup.

Gosh, I miss her!